2001-06-21

12:14 p.m.

twice in this lifetime

A lot of people talk about what makes a good friend. Lately, I've been forced to reevaluate what sort of friendships I have in my life and what makes them this way.

When I was little, I had a "built-in" best friend. We called each other that because our parents were best friends and when I was just a few days old, I was put in the crib with her because she was to be my playmate for life. Rachel and I did everything together from then on. I remember we even discovered that we had gotten chickenpox together and while we were forced to stay home from school, she was still allowed to come over and bring me oatmeal cookies and be good company while we itched and scratched together. As I grew older, my need for acceptance took over. I dumped her as fast as she had come into my life for a more popular, more social girl. Jessica was never a better friend when it came down to it and Rachel was always there, standing in the back waiting for every time Jessica shafterd me or treated me wrong. I never thanked Rachel for that and we eventually grew apart even more when I picked up and moved across the country from her. Even though we lost touch, I always knew she was with me. Everything changes, I guess.

After I moved, I made new friends, formed a new life, developed more permanent characteristics/flaws that would shape my life to come (and what is still expected to be) and through all these changes and after all this time, I've had one friend who has stood out above and beyond everything. She has stood by me, no questions asked, no matter what and for this, I'm so greatful. Lately, things in my life have been rough and depending on all the wrong people to come through for me as a friend, a confidant, and as my family, has left me feeling alone... but never so alone that i don't know she's there. Even at my darkest hour, she has been my backbone to keep my head on straight and my shoulder to cry on.

See, most people are blessed if they can even find one true friend to the end. I've been lucky enough to find two. I guess I haven't had it that bad at all, have I?

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