2001-03-04

1:26 pm

childhood fantasy

When I was little, I thought that I would have a solid career and a full family by the time i turned twenty-five. That age was so distant to me that I honestly thought my life would be in place by then. I'm only a few years off and already, I'm not even half way there. In fact, not only have I not met that desired childhood goal, but I think the goal has slipped into my subconcious as one of those stupid childhood dreams that should be left behind(along with being an astronaut or the first female president. yes i know, we all make mistakes.). So, now that I realize my life isn't the way I planned it when I was eight, I've got to revamp my plans.

*

I got the house I tried so hard for and although it set me back much further than I had hoped, I'm content with my surroundings for the moment. At the same time, i fell behind in my car payment bills and I have just a few short days to come up with a considerable amount of money. I'm run out of belongings to sell and people to ask. I've run out of patience and time. I have mood swings and I'm constantly getting angry... I just need a break. I need time to myself to sort this all out. I need a steady job and my debt to be paid off.

*

"When we were teenagers we wanted to be the sky.. Now all we wanna do is go to red places.. And try to stay outta hell."

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